Now having trouble posting, due to web something or other. I was also able to set the time properly. Hurrah. A lot calmer now the posting page is working.
Strange how one moment one can feel so churned up and the next, peaceful. I often wonder how different I'll feel in heaven. My life here has previously been ruled by strange irrational emotions that I always thought were normal but now know different. Also what I thought was the truth about my early life I now know to be lies and the things I never thought could be the truth are actually the truth. Truly, life is stranger than fiction. The father I always thought was decent, but a bit distant, is the one that used me for his sexual gratification. My mother, who should hsve prtected me, used me the same way, and didn't protect me from abuse. My uncle D who was always around was one of my tormentors. The kind man who built me model airplanes as a gift only did it to pay me for using me. How strange life is. The only consolation is that great Bible verse when Joseph says, "Don't be afraid....you intended to harm me, but God meant it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." I am sure that what has happened to me will be used to help many others. That's what keeps me going I think, also I get glimpses of the real world occasionally when I feel normal for a short time.
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