New blessing

More than a month ago Mrs E and I were at a financial seminar at church. The harsh facts were placed before us. Though I earn about $300 a month less than what we need to live on, we live by faith and somehow there is always enough money to go round. However, retirement is a different story. We have saved a few thousand, when most others have a million or more to retire with. So, we came to the conclusion that Mrs E could get a job, and work for a few years and we could save some money. She got some contacts from former colleagues in the insurance industry and within a few weeks she was offered a good job in a medical minsurance company here in town, with great benefits and good pay. Truly a miracle of God's provision.
For myself, I have been broken hearted this last week looking at the last years and seeing I have been living through various masks resulting from trauma and programming. Where is my real heart? I have been asking this question through many tears this last week. Mrs E thinks it's a good sign that the real me is at last coming out and will be the controller of my life, instead of the lies, deceptions, and programming that so far has been in the lead. Take me to the River, Lord, wash me in the water! Take away all vestiges of deceit and lies, let me see the Truth and let the real me, the one You lovongly created, live to the full. Amen.