Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Recent stuff....

I was doing so well, but....perhaps too well. After my last sessions extravaganza I was feeling a lot better, but something happened about a week ago, not sure what, that tilted my whole system and produced a meltdown, but I seem to have rebooted today. Yesterday was the worst, when I woke up I didn't know who I was, where I was, what day it was, or anything. The day was really difficult, I was very de-personalized and definitely not in charge of my mind and body. Worst thing was, I was preparing a teaching I had to do for a group I help lead and, well, what a trauma. As it turned out, someone else had prepared a teaching and they did theirs, so it was fine. I only had to stumble through a few songs after all in front of the big group of people. I did sleep better last night, and woke up with a song in my heart this morning.
Still not sure what programming is still active, I notice sometimes I do hand signals when I feel threatened and am trying to stop doing so. One thing after another. Then there's my balooning weight, comfort eating, more battles to come.

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