Crazy Ivan

I remember in Hunt for Red October, that marvelous Tom Clancy yarn, the scene when the Americans are chasing the Soviet sub. Suddenly, the sub careers off to one side. Jonesy, the sonar geek shouts, "He's done a Crazy Ivan". "Crazy Ivan?" Jack Ryan, CIA bookworm turned operative asks. "It's what Russian sub captains do periodically," Jonesy explains. "They may not be sure no-one is following them, so they veer to one side or another and listen for other subs." Or words to that effect, not an exact quote. (Don't sue me Tom, I love your books). Life has just taken yet another Crazy Ivan for me after my latest escapade in my internal world of dungeons and demons. More memories, even more foul than the last, torture, pain......how much more is there? Praying was like dancing in wet cement.
Now I'm noticing....people's gestures and the like, as it was pointed out to me by my prayer therapist....when I was under pressure, I was making certain unnatural gestures and hand movements. Aaaaaargh. Gimme a break will ya? So, now I watch myself all the time....and others. Is anyone else affected? I now can see some common gestures in others. No, another age of innocence lost for ever!
Life again as we know it has changed, a Crazy Ivan has happened in my mind and I've jogged to a new course. Open bow doors, and missile tubes, it looks like we're fighting the forces of darkness to the death again. How wonderful to be on the winning side.

More stuff

When will the stuff end? Never I suppose. Many battles happened in the last week of prayer therapy/warfare. Terrible to see the depravity and evil of my torturers, but wonderful to see the power of God to confound it all. One amazing thing was in one session, my therapist said something like she was sure Yeshua (Jesus) was furious and upset about what had happened to me, the poor Jewish boy so terribly abused. Just after, I was overwhelmed by a mixture of sorrow and white hot rage so powerful I thought I was going to fall off the chair. I realized at once that I had received a glimpse of the heart of God for a moment. I would hate to be on the receiving end of that fury. Some sadly will be, but others will escape God's wrath by allowing Yeshua to take it in their place. I've since been praying for any of my tormentors who are still alive to repent and receive God's forgiveness.
Other stuff was so weird it was sick, with mind control and sick rituals. The effect of some of these things is still with me, but the therapist has shown me the tools I need to allow God to break down my old patterns of behavior and defeat. Bring it on.

New adventure

Next week, a new adventure, off for a week of intensive prayer with my friends. Hope and pray that the Lord will do great things for Mrs E and I. I'm always aware of the demonic, especially in the past, but in recent months I've been less and less aware of the dark side and more and more aware of the Lord's side. His goodness, power, and mercy. The Rock still stands firm.

Bye bye MIss American Pie

Drove my Chevvy, well, er Mitsubishi to work. Through the frozen tundra in -25 wind chill, what a thrill. I am a poet and don't know it. Nice to be flippant at times, hard to be with people who take themselves too seriously. Bumpy weeks now smoothing out a little, Mrs E seems to be happier with me. I now have a machine to help me sleep. It pumps compressed air through a mask on my face to stop me snoring and actually get air into my lings for a change. The theory is that I will wake feeling refreshed in the morning instead of wanting, and being able, to sleep for another 4 hours. That would be nice. Cold weather has arrived, later than usual, thanks Alberta for the cool air, bet you don't miss it.
Looking forward to my next week of in patient therapy coming up in a couple of weeks. Watch out satan, the King is about.