H-E-L-P

What a week.....Mrs E got a bee sting early in the week and has been unwell since. She now has a rash all over the place and feels yuck. Her digestive sytem is upset and acting up. She broke a tooth as well, I'll spare you the details, but it will cost $4,000 to fix up. Her job is super stressful as someone messed up her contracts she's been writing for months. My car wouldn't start yesterday, battery dead. I got that running last night, then Mrs E's car died. It was towed to the garage today dead as a stone. We hope it can be fixed. We are hoping to drive to Michigan tomorrow (Saturday) for a conference where I'll be leading worship, then the week after, I'll going for an intensive week of prayer/counseling. My daughter was over this week from Aussie and she has been unwell with stomach ailments. I haven't had much time to prepare my music stuff so that's a rush. We haven't packed anything yet and hope to leave tomorrow morning. So hey ho, a great week. I hope that God will bless us more than satan has attempted to upset us. I'm sure He will. Even if we have to hire a car, we're still going to Michigan for the conference, so there satan and all your fallen angelic beings, you're o-n t-h-e l-o-s-i-n-g s-i-d-e. You know it as well as your demons do.

le weekend ete arrive

Another week has rushed by, and the weekend is up on us. This weekend we're excited because our daughter arrives from Aussie tomorrow (Saturday). Then on Sunday, I'm going to hear Paul Cox speak in Minneapolis. He's a man who runs Aslan's Place, where he's expert in spiritual warfare and the like. Should be fun. Really feeling revitalised in my spiritual life, I've really been aggressive with the enemy for several weeks now and I can feel the difference. I still get occasional knocks, but overall I'm feeling spiritually stronger.
I'll be off the air for 3 weeks now, my daughter's visit next week, then the week after I'm worship leading at a conference in Michigan. The third week I'm an "in patient" for a week of intensive prayer.......pray the Lord does some new and mighty works.

Church visit

Went to a different church yesterday, a friend took us. It was smaller than our own church, but very friendly. I wore my kippa to show solidarity with our people, Israel and felt blessed doing so.
The whole Middle East struggle seems insoluble. I'm not sure if I'm happy or sad about it, as surely it will lead to Messiah's return and the end opf all things. One thing is sure though, things will get a lot worse before we see the antichrist bring peace, heralding the seven year countdown to Messiah's return to wrap things up. Various scriptures can be interpreted here, but perhaps the most definite is that many feel the return of Messiah will be within one generation of the formation of Israel. If they are right, it will be within 70 years from 1948, so about 2018. The Jews count this as year 5766, so it will be 34 years until 6000, when the age of man will end, and Messiah will reign for 1,000 years, to the year 7,000, when the earth and heavens will be renewed. So look out for 2018, or 2040. I don't think I'll be around for the second date, but I may be around for the first. Like everyone before me, I could be wrong, but the two theories above are the most sesible I've seen so far. Come Yeshua Adonai......quickly!

What's it like?

I often struggle to explain my conjulglerated multipropositional multiplicity to others. I did have a revelation over the weekend; it's like playing a game every day that's deadly serious. Make a mistake and you could hurt yourself or others, or even die by an accident because you're not in what you are doing, or commit suicide. The only problem is that the game rules keep changing constantly, and you don't know what they are. Also you have a sinking feeling that you can never win anyway. Whatever strategy you used even yesterday now doesn't work. You are continually harrassed by demonic beings, who cajole, threaten, or try to befriend you and lead you astray. You are never quite sure who you are, or who it is that is "presenting" to the outside world. You are fearful of switching, getting amnesic, or otherwise doing something that will get you fired. Whatever you do, you are not sure what your motive is, is it kindness, or a desire for people to love you? The two main strategies are denial, just push everything down and get through the day, or asking the Lord to take control of your day and control what switches go on, and what you present. I'm not sure which I do best. I do have occasions, though, when I feel I'm being myself, and God is leading me. I wish I could be like that all the time.

Heat is on

I'm a typical Englishman, I talk about the weather all the time. It hasn't rained for weeks and it's going to get extremely hot by all accounts, over 100 degrees. How that seems to me like the spiritual life quite often. You walk through difficulties, feeling like you're in the desert, then othertimes it seems all you can do is stand still. However, through it all we have to try and keep our excitement about the Lord on high, or we can faint in the face of adversity.
I'm excited about what the Lord is doing right now but trying hard not to faint, there are so many difficult areas in my life, and places where I don't seem to make any progress, mixed in with other places where I see the Lord working mightily.
One day it will all be plain, but for now, the Mystery can be mightily mysterious.

Step backward

Stepping backwards, still trying to go forwards......or something. Still really feeling locked up, sometimes with God, and sometimes just really a-l-o-n-e. I've been praying a lot about the remainder of the summer, at the end of this month I go to a conference in Michigan, where I'm worship leading. The week after, it's a week of intensive prayer, so watch out dark places and the like. Jesus is coming to take you out.
Still struggling with purpose, I could easily lock myself in a room and pray alone for several days, the Lord is very close at the moment, and His weight and presence is overwhelming. No-one can see Him and live, but we can feel Him and live an abundant life as He lives through us.

God gets it

I was reminded again today that "God gets it." I have been feeling low for a while, these feelings come and go, but often there is a feeling of hopelessness, when you feel even your nearest and dearest don't get it. It's easy to live in denial, I feel happy then when I can act like nothing happened and think I'm normal for a while. It's not long before some incident happens and the stuff comes out in one way or another.
This morning I wandered into the sanctuary; a ladies group was watching a Beth Moore video. She was at the point where she said she was able to confront one of her abusers. He apologized, but she could tell he "just didn't get it." She said things on the line of, "he just had no idea what it had done to me." Then , God came and spoke to her and said, "Beth, I get it." It was a good job that the session ended then and I could leave, otherwise I would have been weeping uncontrolably. My eyes are still teary, several mintues later.
God has been showing me recently that He has always looked after me. You may think that is crazy talk, the obvious question is "Where was God when those terrible things were happening?" The answer is in the Psalms, as are most of the answers given to a despairing heart.
Psalm 27
9,10 Do not hide Your face from me; Do not turn Your servant away in anger; You have been my help; Do not leave me or forsake me, O God of my salvation.
When my father and mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me.