Beautiful day

Beautiful day, I realise I work best in denial, at least I can keep working without paranoia or wanting to kill someone. Last Friday I had a prayer time with my closest friends, and opened yet another new dumping spot in my mind full of unspeakable attrocities and curses. Afterward my head and facial pain was excruciating for 3 days. The message is..."It's too hard to deal with this crap, just give up." As long as I feel like that I can function quite well, but alas, 'tis a shaky foundation of lies and deceit from Old Nick.

I'm not sure whether to keep on prayin' on the same lines, or take the coward's way out and live in denial until my next intensive sessions the second week in August.

I am also deeply saddened as I re-read, well, listen to the CDs of John Elderidge's book Wild at Heart. It's heartbreaking to hear a simple confirmation of what a wimpy feeble man specimen I've become, just as bad, or worse than anyone else. At least though I now have my great adventure, to kick every demon and satan himself from my mind and life. There is so much crud there it's more than intimidating, but at least I have my great adventure, my dragons to slay. Most men, I know, just live in tedious mediocrity, not the life on the wild frontier that they all crave.

Up up and away Krypto, as Superman says. Only, this time it's someone far more powerful than Superman. In one corner, the most splendid created being, beautiful, talented, creative, musical, deceptive. Thinks he can outsmart his opponent. In the other corner, the Anointed One, Lion of Judah, the Lamb, the crucified One. When the Lion of Judah roars, all creation and eternity shakes with fear and trepidation. None more so than the scuzzy angel of light, who is terrified and waiting in horror for his throwing into the lake of fire. Frying soon, satan, hope I get a front seat.