Fiery Friday

Off agin to the jolly Laser Lil, the nurse who fries my flesh every 3 weeks. I have the wart that ate Chicago on the bottom of my left heel. It's been very painful and I've had various treatments, but have now settled into the Laser Frier. This machine is used after the nurse has sliced copius of amounts of skin from my heel. She then makes me wear black glasses and a mask, while she shoots a laser at the wart. This burns it and tries the kill it, thought the blighter won't die. This week, however, the laser broke down, so she said she would but a chemical agent on to try and burn it. First she used liquid nitrogen to deaden it (ha ha) and then the agent. It hurt a bit at first, then as the day went on it got worse and worse, until Friday evening it was a-g-o-n-y. A terrible throbbing pain, each throb like a hot knife being twisted in. I know men are babies, but this did really hurt. I iced it, took pain killers, but nothing worked, and for the whole weekend I had to lay around with my foot on a cushion while it throbbed unmercifully. I also had a terrible headcold and sore throat, etc. So I didn't feel on top of the world. I had to stay home from work on Monday. While I was home I decided to have as much prayer time as I could, I'm making this a priority these days. When I was praying, I was using CARE's prayer booklet (www.care1.org) and going for it. Well, I opened up several new cans of worms with new memories, feelings, and families of demons. What a time. My brain became a pack of cards that someone threw in the air, and let them fall where they fell instead of being in order. Confusion, hallucinations, and flashbacks came flooding in for ages, together with more facial pain, and headaches. In the night, really weird, vivid dreams. Whaaaaaaaa! I also woke up for two nights, knowing I had left my new book I was reading in the nurse's office, and worrying about how to get it back. This really upset me. When I went to my car today to go to work, there the book was on the front seat. I hadn't forgotten it at all. The joys of being a multiple.

Crazy Wednesday

Last Wednesday morning was one of my big annual events. The power company breakfast. They invite all maintenance heads of big consumers who have signed up to their discounr scheme and give us a slap up breakfast. The scoop is that on summer days when demand outstrips supply, we gat a phone call and have to cut our consumption to 10% of normal; in return we get a discount on our bill. The catch? Well, it's only on the hottest days this happens, when we really need our aircon and we have to switch it off. They show no mercy, if you keep the air on, you get a huge fine, it can be $400 an hour. It doesn't matter that you have 400 children in the building and their parents for a big event, all the lights have to go off except in the office. It could only happen in the USA. "Yes folks, install great air conditioning systems in your churches and schools, then on really hot days when you desparately need them, swith them off and we'll give you a discount on your bill". "Excuse me sir, isn't that the very time we need the aircon?" Who said that? Must be a foreigner.
On the way back to the office I encountered an all too familiar moronic driver, but this one was a real star. He was about 60, with pony tail, large earrings, leather jacket, the full hit. I was driving on the freeway, and he was coming on on the ramp. The road was very quiet, there was one car in front of me, and nothing behind me. All doom brain had to do was pull in behind me. I should explain that most US drivers are genetically incapable of pulling behind the car in front. This has always baffled me and has caused many dozens of near accidents in the time I've lived here. Well, this moron was abviously going to force his was between me and the car in front, even though there wasn't really enough room, instead of doing the obvious and slowing down slightly and pulling in behind me in the half mile of empty road. I let him in front of me, by slowing down, to avoid colliding with him. He then started making abscene gestures at me and slammed on his brakes, causing me to nearly crash in to him. He then left the freeway at the next ramp, a very short distance away, still screaming obscenities and making gestures. One other thing I find difficult here is why, when you are minding your own business, keeping the speed limit and staying in your lane, when the onus is on him to merge into the lane, and all he has to do is slow a couple of miles an hour and pull in behind, I'm suddenly the bad guy. The rule seems to be that whatever moronic thing the other driver is doing, speeding, shooting a red light (happens many times a day in front of me), forcing me out of the way when they should pull in behind, refusing to signal what they're doing, if I get upset, I'm suddenly the bad guy; so the rule is let the other driver do anything they want, even up to the point of risking your life, and you'll be fine. Try to keep the driving lawsa, you're in a lot of trouble. The wild west is now the highways over here.

Beautiful day

Beautiful day, I realise I work best in denial, at least I can keep working without paranoia or wanting to kill someone. Last Friday I had a prayer time with my closest friends, and opened yet another new dumping spot in my mind full of unspeakable attrocities and curses. Afterward my head and facial pain was excruciating for 3 days. The message is..."It's too hard to deal with this crap, just give up." As long as I feel like that I can function quite well, but alas, 'tis a shaky foundation of lies and deceit from Old Nick.

I'm not sure whether to keep on prayin' on the same lines, or take the coward's way out and live in denial until my next intensive sessions the second week in August.

I am also deeply saddened as I re-read, well, listen to the CDs of John Elderidge's book Wild at Heart. It's heartbreaking to hear a simple confirmation of what a wimpy feeble man specimen I've become, just as bad, or worse than anyone else. At least though I now have my great adventure, to kick every demon and satan himself from my mind and life. There is so much crud there it's more than intimidating, but at least I have my great adventure, my dragons to slay. Most men, I know, just live in tedious mediocrity, not the life on the wild frontier that they all crave.

Up up and away Krypto, as Superman says. Only, this time it's someone far more powerful than Superman. In one corner, the most splendid created being, beautiful, talented, creative, musical, deceptive. Thinks he can outsmart his opponent. In the other corner, the Anointed One, Lion of Judah, the Lamb, the crucified One. When the Lion of Judah roars, all creation and eternity shakes with fear and trepidation. None more so than the scuzzy angel of light, who is terrified and waiting in horror for his throwing into the lake of fire. Frying soon, satan, hope I get a front seat.

Spring is springing into action

Spring is in the air, birdies singing, and our Beagle is basking in the sun on the deck, leaving only to chase rabbits or squirrels, or to threaten our neighbor's black lab that he hates with a passion for some unknown reason. The duck and drake are back at our next door neighbor's swimming pool, where they tried to nest last year. An amusing fight happened between the husband and wife. the husband wanted to shoo them off or take them out, and the wife wanted to leave them alone. When and who will win this year would be a good choice for a betting syndicate.

Several things going on, I am leading worship at a week long conference this August, and trying to work on my CD. The problem is that when I sing in public I can sound pretty good and in tune, but when recording, for some reason a part come sout that is fearful and can't sing in tune. My voice sounds different as well. So I may just have to do an instrumental CD, or get some software that changes the pitch of the notes I sing to bring them back in tune. O the joys of being a multiple.

Jewishness is still growing on me, I'm completely convinced that I am actually Jewish from what God has showed me, and from family stuff. I feel more and more convinced of how far thw western church has drifted away from the Jewish roots of the faith, and is therefore floundering in many places. Who is the real Jesus? A friend in the sky who makes polite suggestions that no-one notices, who buys Lear jets and Cadillacs for TV preachers? A person who loves seeing members of one church filling their parking lot with new Lexus' and Mercedes while others a few miles away can't afford food or clothes? Has anyone, apart from me thought of buying a cheaper car, like a GM that does everything an expensive car does and giving more to missionaries and poor families instead of spending that extra $20,000 on a piece of metal? I wish I was pastor for a day and I could preach on that. I know I'd get fired but it would be fun. Anyway, I think I'll stick with Y'shua ha Meshiach, the Son of God who lived a humble life, was crucified (believed to be the most painful and most tortorous method of exection ever devised) and through that, and rising from the dead, conquered sin, death and the devil...Give me that Y'shua any day and keep the Lexus.

the real Y'shua

A glorious day here, blue sky and no clouds. How different from yesterday, when nit rained constantly. A picture perhaps of life? The sun will eventually come through, no matter how bad the storm is. Perhaps I should have been a philosopher, but I think too much. Getting along with some mind stuff, I am thinking more clearly at the moment, and gearing up for the summer, when I hope to spend a lot of time fishing and thinking, with some writing thrown in.
Just went to Wisconsin for the weekend, near the south part of Lake Superior, a beautiful wild place, but out of the way somewhat. Not sure if I could cope with driving 30 miles to get a loaf or a bottle of milk.
I'm pretty excited about exploring the Jewish heritage of Christianity, it seems to have been erased from most people's screens. When you start reading the Bible in Hebrew it really jumps out how Jewish the faith is. Of course Jesus, or Y'shua to give Him His Hebrew title, was a Jew, as was every author of every book in the Bible. But, Y'shua is universal, being Savior to the whole world. However, when you do some research on the Jewish customs, and read what the authors, and the Author said in these Bible books, it's astonishing how much we've lost by claiming Jesus as our white, middle class Savior, when He lived as a Jewish blue collar worker.